Forgivness....

Most days I sit alone and take out all the anger out on myself. What for?

I look at people, and only see the good, I listen to the words and believe every one of them, I pray that they are what they seem and what they claim, but do I believe any of it anymore? I do not. At the end of the day words are only empty promises unless they are supported by actions, yet they can cut as deep as a knife. I am tired of giving, yet I don't think I will ever be ready to take.

Forgiveness? Is it really possible and if so to what extent? When you are in pain, and you know exactly why and because of who, how do you gain the strength to forgive? By forgiving yourself and people around you, you learn to grow and you rid yourself of all the negative things that have happened in the past, and you move forward.

So here it is, I forgive it all, not because I think it is the right thing to do, but because I need to do it to take the power away from you and feel normal again.

And to finish it off, I found a quote that I have fallen madly in love with...

"If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will protect upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else."

Darja