Dreams..

What are dreams? They last only a second and are filled with great depths, our deepest emotions and are segways between our soul to our true life. Dreams are always trying to help us realize what is bothering us and making us aware of the things we push aside every day that we are awake. In our dreams, those emotions come to life.

 I woke up this morning exhausted from dreaming, from roaming the empty dark streets of the unknown town and constantly loosing my way. Am I really this lost in real life? Everything and everyone around me is changing and I wish I could just remain the same. I am loosing a lot, but gaining so much more along the way and I need to know that this is enough. I wish it was easier to just sit down and figure out what the next step is, and I wish my emotions weren't so hot and cold at all times pushing most people who care about me away. I most of all wish that all my walls didn't go up so high because I have no way to get them back down for now. I am sure that they will slowly melt away with time. And why is it that in the middle of all the mess, and in the mist of all my confusion, something amazing has to happen? How do you find out a way to hold on to the amazigness and figure out your own life out along the way?

I, most of all, hate that I am such a planner. If I could, I would put my whole year in a planner, written in pen so nobody can change it. But things just don't work that way. We don't even know that tomorrow will come, so we have to learn to do our best today. I just wish this simple task wasn't so hard for me at the moment.

I am still trying to figure it all out, but I guess until then I will roam the empty dark streets of my dreams, until one day the sun comes out again and I find my way to happiness. By then, I pray and hope that everything else remains the same.

With great love,
Darja